Fat Cats

Fat cats wanting more
pass a new directive down
to the workshop floor

'from now on
one man
must do the work of four'

(c) JH

Hurt

You give yourself to me
and then pull back -
because of the way she hurt you

close to me
and then off to some distant place
where you don't want me even to touch you

I can see the pain in your face
I can see right into the core of you
see the gaping wound -
I press my hands hard against it
to try to stop the bleeding

but sometimes
the blood seeps right through your shirt
onto the bed
all over me
until I don't know if you will ever heal

I'm certain that I love you
but I don't know where I am
do you?

The Guilt

The big pretence
walking on floors wafer thin
and so
I imagined dancing, whirling around
ecstatic
just as if our lives were
filled with perfect magic

my laugh
false
brittle
trailing on the wind....

us so afraid
the long sharp tongue
lashing out like a whip
the rages
bouncing off of walls and ceilings
so that the house constantly pulsed
with the threat of a storm

I thought staying
staying tethered
was the glue that held the family together

the stinging heat from a slap
the sound of the slamming door
yet still I stayed -
stealing the joy from childhood

now
grown - up children
at times,
their sad, sad eyes

and always
their search for peace
that goes unrecognised

I see the damage done.

(c) Jane Habgood All rights reserved